How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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