He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
