It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
