I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
