and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
