its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize