areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
