I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
