found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
