The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Michael Bay diarrhea
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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