Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
