im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
