Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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