Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
