U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
