I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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