Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize