Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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