apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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