Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
false alarm, still single
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
