Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
