If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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