roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
