Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
