There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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