Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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