I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
