if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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