Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
