P.S. I can't hear my feet
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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