If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize