Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
