Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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