Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
