i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Found your dick twin last night
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize