Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
