my soul wont recognize me after tonight
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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