She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
He felt like a one man threesome
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
