i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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