watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Redeem this text for a blowjob
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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