Dual....:-)
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
