It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Randomize
