I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
