even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
