i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
