there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Randomize
