You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
