The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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