I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
