he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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