my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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