It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
