i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
