Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
