Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
