As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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