And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
