I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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