So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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