? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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