ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
