I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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