..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
