waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
