We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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