Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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