I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
